Present
Do you know what it means to be present?
Many people tell me it’s difficult for them to stay in the present most of the time. And I stand there speechless, because so many people have judged me for living most of my time in the present.
I almost never worry too much about life’s past or future situations.
Why doesn’t the past worry me?
Well, for me, it’s simple:
It doesn’t matter how many things I’ve lived through—I’ll give you a very short summary:
An abusive and mistreating family, abandonment, being treated like the servant of the entire household, sexual abuse (if you are going through anything like this, please know there was an option I never took as a child and teenager—and it was to speak up, to talk to someone you trust and ask for help. Do not stay silent.)
Homelessness.
Leukemia cancer.
Three deaths. (Yes, I have died three times.)
Rejection, bullying, religious abuse, traumas from every direction since childhood.
But what gave me the most strength was the need to never give up.
To not give too much weight to the past or its wounds.
To somehow never stop dreaming.
To never fall into drugs.
To keep seeing the beauty in life.
To keep believing that people can change, and that there are always good people in this world.
Best of all, I saw that I was a mother—and that I could make a difference.
Something I promised myself as a little girl was that I would never repeat what my family had repeated with me.
Yes—my mother was treated in the exact same way. And I know that was all she ever saw.
But not me.
I saw an opportunity to break the loop that my family had been trapped in for centuries.
So, I chose to be better.
Today, my children constantly tell me:
“Mom, you’re so special.
Always smiling, fighting, creating your dreams, always giving us love and hugs.
You’re always funny and make us laugh.
Thank you for all the sacrifices you’ve made for us, and thank you for teaching us that everything is possible if we believe it is.”
I’m not making this up—ask anyone, and they’ll confirm that my kids say all of this. When they write me letters for Mother’s Day or my birthday, these are the things they write.
And it’s beautiful. It fills me with joy and with tears of happiness…
Because I fulfilled the promise I made to myself long ago.
So yes, I only carry one thing from the past with me:
My promises.
Because why would you make a promise to yourself unless you’ve learned something from a mistake or experience?
And without that learning, there is no real promise.
(Imagine promising to repeat the same mistake over and over—lol—I think you get my point.)
So… what about the future?
Why don’t I worry much about the future?
Because in life, the future is something we create with every breath we take, every decision we make, every word we speak, and every way we choose to react.
And that requires us to act in the present for there to even be a future at all.
I’ve lived in situations where I had to be in relationships with very abusive narcissists.
I’ve been in situations where planning a whole future and stressing about it just made things worse.
But a few months ago, I realized that when I live one day at a time, I feel so much happier.
Because worrying about things we know we cannot control—or feeling like there isn’t “enough time” to fix or solve whatever we think is wrong—
I’ve learned that when I step aside and stop interfering with worry…
I promise you, it’s like magic.
Out of nowhere, solutions appear—solutions I had never even imagined, never even considered as a possibility.
This has been happening a lot to me lately.
And the most beautiful part is getting to see the magic of the Creator in action in my life.
To witness how much love He has for me—for all of us.
When we choose to step aside and let the magic appear—His magic, the magic of God.
Right now, I feel free.
Very free.
When I don’t worry about what the world thinks of me.
When I don’t care if someone has opinions about my life.
People often ask me, based on how I talk, if I believe in God.
They say, “Everything you said is beautiful… but what about God?”
Five years ago, I probably would’ve said something to defend myself (defend from what, I have no idea—it makes me laugh that this was once me).
But today… I realize I’m not looking for anyone’s comments.
Because the only one who understands me in the way I want to be understood—is me.
And that’s more than enough.
Because if I understand me… then the Creator understands me too.
So yes—today, I can say the word God with peace.
Because years ago, I couldn’t say it at all.
We were taught to depend too much on a force outside of us.
And we were rarely taught to find that force, that magic, that pure love of God within us.
Because in the end… we are within Him, and He is within us.
Without Him, we wouldn’t exist.
We wouldn’t be able to form words or realities.
So, if you ever have a confusing relationship with God—or the Creator, or whatever name you prefer—
Just remember that what you believe about the One who created you…
Depends on how much you love yourself, how much you value yourself, and how important you are to you.
Because here’s the truth:
If we’re not able to love who we are right now,
If we don’t appreciate the gift of being able to create each step of our lives—
Through words, decisions, reactions, responses, and focus—
Then that is what keeps us from seeing how truly valuable we are.
(It’s like this: you are the owner of your home.
You decide what design it will have, inside and out.
Do you want it all black and gothic, or natural and full of life?
Do you want just one chair at your table, or a table with six chairs to welcome that family you have or will have?)
We must always make space for what we hope to receive—
Because otherwise, it cannot come.
You can’t invite a friend to dine at your table if you only have one chair.
But if you’ve set up a table with extra chairs—then there’s space for that person to come in.
That’s what actions do.
So I speak to you from the Present.
Tomorrow is the future—we’ll see when we get there.
What I do know is that living in the past would be like having a dining table with just one chair.
(For example: “I don’t want a new table—last time I had one and invited someone, they betrayed me.” That actually happened to me.)
But what if…
What if you buy the table again, and this time you have more than one chair?
Little by little, you’ll see that the experiences you lived before and the actions you took led to a life you didn’t like.
Fine.
Don’t punish yourself for that decision.
Just keep walking.
Keep going.
Learn that that style of “entryway” wasn’t for you—and now you want something better.
Done.
That’s how possibilities grow.
Even when you don’t know exactly what you want—
If you keep searching for what you know, with certainty, will make you happy,
You’ll eventually find it.
And you’ll realize… that’s what you were looking for all along.
Don’t stay in the past.
Don’t try to control the future.
Because your Higher Self, God, the Creator—or whatever you wish to call Him—
Already knows what will make you happy.
And He knows that most of the time, we have no idea that what’s meant to make us happy even exists yet.
And that… that is a very magical, beautiful, blessed adventure.
I love you.
—The Woman on Fire 🔥
🆘 Emergency Help (If in danger right now):
Call 911 — If you or someone else is in immediate danger.
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988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
📞 Call or Text: 988
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Free, 24/7 emotional support for anyone experiencing mental health crisis, suicidal thoughts, or overwhelming stress.National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)
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Support, resources, and referrals for mental health help and education.
🚨 Abuse, Domestic Violence & Childhood Trauma
National Domestic Violence Hotline
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24/7 help for anyone in abusive relationships — physical, emotional, or sexual. Safe shelters, protection, counseling, legal advice.RAINN – Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network
📞 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)
🌐 https://rainn.org
Support for survivors of sexual abuse or assault. Live chat, legal help, and emotional care.Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline
📞 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453)
🌐 https://childhelp.org
For children or adults dealing with child abuse, neglect, or trauma from the past. Free, 24/7, confidential.
🏚 Homelessness or Housing Help
National Coalition for the Homeless
🌐 https://nationalhomeless.org
Find emergency shelters, housing programs, and food access in your area.211 United Way Helpline
📞 Call 2-1-1
🌐 https://211.org
A local resource finder: housing, food, counseling, job programs, shelters — available 24/7 in all U.S. states.
🎗 Cancer & Medical Support
Leukemia & Lymphoma Society (LLS)
📞 1-800-955-4572
🌐 https://www.lls.org
Free cancer support, financial aid, and treatment resources for leukemia survivors.American Cancer Society
📞 1-800-227-2345
🌐 https://cancer.org
Emotional, financial, and medical support for cancer patients and families.
🤝 Faith-Based but Nonjudgmental Spiritual Support
Spiritual Care Hotline (Interfaith Support)
📞 1-888-388-HOPE (4673)
Not therapy — but spiritual and emotional support from caring volunteers for people of any or no religion.
💬 Therapy & Talking to Someone Safe
BetterHelp
🌐 https://www.betterhelp.com
Online therapy with licensed professionals. Not free, but financial aid available.Open Path Collective
🌐 https://openpathcollective.org
Low-cost therapy options ($30–$60 per session) with trained mental health providers.
